I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
