My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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