Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
