U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
