and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
