I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
