i just google imaged poop.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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