his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
