some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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