idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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