If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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