You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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