I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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