well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
