one might say we're banned from that church
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
