I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
