dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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