Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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