i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
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I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The air taste purple.
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