i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
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