Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
