Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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