I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
