I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
