Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
