the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i think im in europe. pls send help
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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