This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
