I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
