I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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