i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
