i don't like sucking hair
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Holy sore nipples Batman
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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