All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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