I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
