Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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