Say something about gay babies.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
