the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.