I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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