Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.