with your own penis?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel