what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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