Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My feet surprised me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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