I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
