you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I have post one night stand depression
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
