I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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