2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
