sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
