Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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