this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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