I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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