I wanna bring you to show and tell
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
