Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
