HIV tests are more positive than that guy
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
now i know why i became what i already was.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
