I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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