How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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