remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
