i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
