Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
