called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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