i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i dont even know how to be here
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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