I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
