You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
