i jhust puked up my retainher.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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