i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
