I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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