is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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