I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
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You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
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I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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