So drunk its hurt
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
